I've been waiting 4.5 hours to update a document with cross-references. This is ridiculous. These things don't work. I can't do anything else when cross-references are in a document. I will never use them again. I'm using InDesign 2021, but I can't even tell you which version exactly, that's how frozen the whole program is right now.

Its still the same in ID 2021. Until Adobe fix this, a workaround. Copy existing cross reference, paste to desired location and edit CR. Dialog opens at once (if you not using All Pharagraphs when creating copied CR).
Not the fastest method, but in comparasion with minutes of waiting to dialog

I'm working with a 50-page document using the latest version of InDesign (15.1.1 x64) on Windows 10. Cross-reference not only takes minutes to create but also takes that amount of time to update. It's become a useless feature of InDesign.

The very same bug appear in version 15.1.1 x64 on Windows 10

I'm working on a catalogue with a lot of tables. I have created a book containing around 15 documents. The smaller docs (around 20 pages) have the cross-reference panel loading quickly. However, the larger ones takes minutes. I have a few docs of 130+ pages, I timed the cross-reference panel opening in 2minutes 50 seconds.
I updated to 14.0.2 from 12.1 where there were no issues.

With a document containing many tables and already some CrossReference in it (not from or to table itself), creating a new cross reference take forever (minutes) to load the New Cross Reference Windows. The windows open at [All Paragraphs].

This is with 14.0.2. Same bug on 13.1, but works perfectly on version cc2017 12.1
This on MacOS 10.13.6 but same issues on Windows.

In CC2017, the new cross reference window open with no paragraph style selected. It should be the same in CC2019.

Test file upon request only.