This should definitely not be default behaviour, but e.g. a checkbox under "show import options" asking to "link artboard size to text frame size, when placing a .ai file, would be nice.

When opening the fiel in illustrator, a warning dialog coudl appear asking "frame size has been changed in indesign, do you want to change artboard size accordingly?"

I repeatedly work with layouts and .ai graphics, that need to first be drafted, then layout changed, and after this the graphics slightly refitted to new sizes. Its a bit tedious looking up correct widths and heights for artboards from indesign.